


Feels like forever

by aishahiwatari



Series: Trektober 2019 [9]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Requited Unrequited Love, Sex Pollen, Sort Of, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-27 22:37:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20956046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishahiwatari/pseuds/aishahiwatari
Summary: “There was an accident in one of the Science labs. I was there. So were Spock and Sulu. Just- an unpredictable reaction, and one of the plants spontaneously germinated. All over me. Not as sexy as it sounds.” Bones gives Jim a small, rueful smile, which Jim attempts to return. “Basically every crew member in that lab, and who came into contact with me since, has been convinced they’re in love with me, and that they need to do everything they can to show it.”(for day 9 of Trektober 2019, prompt: Sex Pollen/Aphrodisiacs)





	Feels like forever

“Don’t you say a damn word!” Bones snaps, as he storms into his quarters to find Jim sitting there, possibly hiding from the rest of the crew after a too-busy day, just reading something on his padd and trying to relax.

It’s kind of uncalled-for. Jim hasn’t even done anything that day to warrant it. It’s been at least a week since Bones would have considered him to deserve being snapped at.

“You okay?” he calls warily after Bones, who’s disappeared into his bedroom, is looking kind of uncharacteristically dishevelled, actually. Usually that doesn’t happen until he’s at least a few drinks in, safely in his quarters. The door chime rings.

“Don’t answer that!” Bones shouts, as Jim moves to get up.

“It- might be urgent?” he says, a question because Bones knows that, and Jim knows he knows that. This is weird.

“Believe me, it’s not.” Bones storms back in, in sweatshirt and sweatpants rather than his uniform, even though his shift’s not due to end for a couple hours, and hits the intercom. “Busy, go away.”

“Doctor, I just wanted to talk to you about-“

“Nope,” Bones cuts her off, locks the door with a code that would require a Captain or CMO’s override to bypass. Then he turns to Jim, “I need you to put Scotty in charge.”

“You what?” Jim almost laughs in his face, but there’s a strong vein of desperation in everything Bones is doing, and frankly it’s freaking him out.

“Now. Before you think about it too much. Before you think about anything.”

“Spock needs to be stood down before I can-“

“He’s already been declared medically unfit. Jim. Please. Trust me.”

“He’s what?”

“Jim!”

“Then it goes to Sulu-“

“I know the fucking command structure, Jim. Will you do it or not?”

Jim stares, for just a moment longer, baffled and confused and with no idea why nobody has commed him to tell him any of this, and then he says, “Fine. And then you’ll explain.”

Bones says nothing, just stares at the floor, is still over by the door like he’s bracing it against something.

_“Aye, Captain. We’ll get to work right away. Have everything patched up in no time,”_ is Scotty’s bizarrely unphased and uncharacteristically serious response to the order he would usually consider deeply alarming, and Jim flips his comm shut with a shaking hand. This is what he gets for taking time off.

“Bones, talk to me,” he pleads, because Bones hasn’t relaxed, not really, and he flinches when Jim goes to get out of his seat, so he lowers himself back into it, slowly, cautiously. “Why is Spock medically unfit? And- Sulu too? Are you?”

“How are you feeling?” Bones asks him, instead of an answer, and Jim has no idea how to respond to that.

“Terrified? I just put Scotty in charge. Have you met Scotty? And half my officers are apparently indisposed, and nobody bothered to comm me?”

“There wasn’t time-“

“Bones! What the fuck is going on?”

“But you’re not feeling- like you need to do anything, right now?”

“Except maybe schedule you for a psych eval? No.”

“I need to test you.”

“I take it back, I’m feeling all sorts of weird and wonderful urges.” Jim’s the one who rears back this time, as Bones pounces on his medkit, starts preparing to steal Jim’s blood. “I can barely control myself right now, in fact.”

“Maybe you’re immune,” Bones wonders, out loud, as he kneels at Jim’s side, which is Not Helpful.

“Immune to what!”

“Hold still.”

“Bones, I swear to God.” But Jim holds still, hissing through his teeth as his blood is taken, as gently as possible, and the resulting vial slotted into a scanner that Bones programs deftly.

When he’s finished, he sighs and sets it aside, and meets Jim’s eyes, searching for who fucking knows what. “You don’t feel any differently towards me?”

“I feel exactly the same as I always have.”

Jim’s hedging. He always is, when it comes to answering that question. Usually it’s enough, but Bones frowns, this time, narrows his eyes. They care about each other, even love each other, but Jim’s always been careful to hide exactly how far that love goes.

He sees the moment when Bones realises, blinks at him in surprise, mouth falling open. Jim can see him searching back through his memories, looking for signs, for how he could possibly have missed it over the years.

It’s not his fault. Jim’s always been good at hiding his true feelings, and he had the best kind of motivation to keep this one secret. He can’t risk his friendship with Bones, would do anything to keep him. And it’s not so bad. Bones is everything he needs, and if there are a few additional things Jim has wanted, at times, well, they’re his problem.

“How long?” Bones asks, eyes wide, brow creased. He looks pained. This is exactly the kind of situation Jim was hoping to avoid.

“Please don’t ask me that.” Because it’s embarrassing enough already, that they’re having to have this conversation. Bones doesn’t need to know how pathetic he really is.

He looks like he’s about to push, for a moment, maybe demand the truth. Jim would tell him. He deserves to know just how terrible a friend Jim has been, but the scanner beeps, finished, and Bones looks over the results with resignation and a distinct lack of surprise.

Then he says, “There was an accident in one of the Science labs. I was there. So were Spock and Sulu. Just- an unpredictable reaction, and one of the plants spontaneously germinated. All over me. Not as sexy as it sounds.” He gives Jim a small, rueful smile, which Jim attempts to return. “Basically every crew member in that lab, and who came into contact with me since, has been convinced they’re in love with me, and that they need to do everything they can to show it.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. I don’t know what I would have done if it had got you too. Not sure I could have stood it.” Bones’ smile is soft, beautiful, and Jim always files away those memories, like some sort of creep, is driven to distraction sometimes by the thought of Bones, so open and vulnerable, just for him. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice. Before.”

“I’m not. You’re-” Jim struggles for words, because Bones is his best friend, his family, the best thing that’s ever happened to him. “You deserve better. If you want, we can just pretend this never happened. I promise I won’t make a fuss, you’re not obligated to-“

“Jim.” There it is again. Bones looks hurt, distraught, even. Jim did that to him. He feels terrible. He has no idea what to do in this situation, and it feels like the fucking Kobayashi Maru, that he can do nothing here except watch their friendship fall apart no matter what he does. He’s trying so hard, doesn’t want to believe that Bones could ever hold his feelings against him but wouldn’t blame him if he did.

“You can stop this bullshit about what I deserve right now.” Bones kneels up, takes his hand, looks him in the eye and Jim’s heart pounds with terror and confusion. “Because I have only ever wanted you.”

“No, you- what?” Except then Jim sees it, because he’s being allowed to, and because despite everything he finally believes there’s a chance, Bones’ expression fond and- yes, loving. More than Jim’s ever allowed himself to dream, before.

He stops resisting, hadn’t realised he’d been leaning away every time Bones tried to close the distance between them, allows himself to be guided by a warm hand curled around the back of his neck, the thumb caressing his hairline.

“You’re everything to me, Jim.” And Bones leans in, that last tiny distance between them, and slants their mouths together in a soft, warm kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m also on [Tumblr](https://aishahiwatari.tumblr.com/)


End file.
